Personal Space

Mexico City is filled with people. It is impossible to walk outside your house without seeing someone. When I get on any form of public transportation, I am usually squashed in shoulder to shoulder with many people I do not know. Personal space is rare whenever you go out of your home.

Have you ever seen the movie “Spanglish” with Adam Sandler? It is a comedy (of course), but was intended to display the differences between the Latin and United States cultures. When I have seen it in the past, I was not able to identify many of the differences in culture. Now that I am living in Mexico, many of the differences have become more clear. One of the biggest differences is at the end of the movie, when Christina says to her mother Flor, “Not right now, I need some space”. These two characters come from Mexico. The movie intended for this interaction to be very dramatic because it does not come from a Latin culture. This was something the daughter has adopted from living in The United States.

At work, we had a class on how to cope with stress. One of the concepts we talked about was “vital space”. The class mentioned about how important it is to find time to just be alone and do nothing. It helps you to think through the problems in your life and to cope with all types of stress. Many of my coworkers found it as a good idea and something they want to adapt into their life. I found out a little later that personal space does not hold as much importance in Mexico as it does in The United States. Many coworkers seemed to enjoy the concept of “vital space” but I got the feeling that it is more of a luxury than a right. The office environment seems to be much more relationship oriented than task oriented. Although when due dates are approaching rapidly, no one in the office has a problem breaking the “vital space” rule.

To me, it seems a little standard that if you need time to yourself to think through things and evaluate what you are doing, you have the right to avoid everyone and do it. I didn’t even imagine that personal space would be a right that is not always granted. I have had conversations with my host family about the concept of personal space. As a kid, you do not have a right to go into your room and shut the door to be alone. If your parents want to enter your room when you are mad at them, there is nothing you can do. This is an odd comparison to the US culture because I have always felt like if I needed to exclude myself from my parents to “cool down”, I could do it. In Mexico, you must maintain your temper and listen to what your parents have to say or have a conversation with them. “Cooling down” does not usually exist.

I am an extrovert so I have not needed much personal space so far. I feel like it is a standard to participate in family activities. My family does grant me personal space if I need it (I think that is because the country coordinators disclaimed that young adults from the US enjoy their personal space and to not take it personally if we shut ourselves in our room). My family has not come into my room without permission (although I probably wouldn’t mind if they did), but I can tell that everyone is much happier when the entire family is included in one activity than when someone doesn’t want to participate. I can safely say that I have enjoyed even the non-personal space aspect of the Latin culture.

The mother of “Spanglish”, Flor, then explains to Christina that “There is no space between us”. I thought of this as a good comparison because in the Latin culture, it is hard to escape others and hide in your room. Personal space is not always granted.